31 days

I've been on this earth for quite literally 326 months.

I started out weighing 11 pounds at my birth, and at my largest was almost 32 times larger than that.

August 19th, 2010 will forever be a crucial day in my life. 

It's the day I read about a Philadelphia Eagles player who had laparoscopic gastric band surgery, lost about 100 pounds, and is now in the best playing shape of his life.  It's the day I walked by a darkened office at my job, in passing, and saw my reflection in the dimmed glass wall.  I turned, and looking myself up and down. And I thought, "I don't want to be like this anymore."

And I resolved to change.

So here I am, one month and one day since that day, and am now 10 pounds lighter, with absolutely no signs of slowing down. 

My goal is to have lost 100 pounds by May 31st, 2011.  Which happens to be Memorial Day, and my sister Elicia's birthday.  So, on that day I honor not only my sister, but my grandfathers and uncles who served America.  And hopefully, I will celebrate the new and improved me:

-The Me that is always on-going, and always going to battle obesity.  I feel that even if I were not obese, that I would always "feel" obese, because it's something I will always battle.  But it's a battle I can win.  And one that I resolve to win.

-The Me that will have shrunk about 7 inches of waist, 2 shirt sizes, and who knows how many inches in my chest, torso, and face.

I am 10% there to my goal.  I have lost 10 pounds since beginning on August 19th.

DESPITE my deviances from two weekends ago, and my frustration over having to calorie count each and every thing on my phone this weekend, I still achieved results.  And I will continue to have a great day today. 

On my way to the Nutritionist today, I had the usual "this is stupid, why are you trying to lose weight" kind of thoughts from my Irrational Mind.  It always tries to show that progress is so slow and so unrecognizable, and therefore not worth it.  I actually muttered this out loud to myself, walking down the street:

"Fuck you.  No, fuck you.  Now, come on!  You work too hard, John! You deserve to be thin, and you will be thin!  Now come on, let's go already!"

It was the tough love, challenging, yet sensitive way of instructing that I often do with others.  And it really motivated me.

I responded to myself, "I know, I know."  A man walked by and looked at me strange, hearing my talk to myself.