Before I begin, let me just say that the actual recordings of these songs is not yet underway. We are scheduled to record beginning March 11th in Philadelphia. This is a "story behind the song" I'm blogging about to raise awareness, and hopefully excitement, about the record. Visit www.johnschmittalbum.com to donate if you want to be a part of it!
"Song of Myself"
I've been writing "Song of Myself" since I was a junior in college. That is 6 years ago. I just finished it about three months ago!
This song, in particular, has always seemed to linger when I would write. I've gone through about 4 different choruses, a myriad of verses, spent time trying to co-write the song with someone else, and taken it with me to different continents all in the hopes of living an experience worth writing about, and getting it done.
I was listening to O.A.R. thanks to my friend Mark introducing it to me in his car once while visiting him in PA. The chord structures were very simple and repetitive, and the melodies were catchy, albeit loaded with a bit of cheese. I began noodling on my guitar and found a riff using 6ths that descended, which sounded great.
I started to try and sing over it, but I found writing something was enormously difficult. Not because of the chords, which were basic, but what was I getting at? I can't write about nothing. At the time, I was in college, no girlfriend, no real drama or issues; it was calm.
Thinking about those around me, it was apparent how people truly fall to the wayside most of the time. Or, how they "duck out", like someone would at a party, leaving without saying anything. And how particular we as men and women want to change our perspective partners to fall in line with what we envision them to be - taller, darker, more handsome, smarter. You see this constantly. Some guy who enjoys watching hockey and drinking beer in his underwear meets some girl that rocks his world. Next time you see him, he's in a button up shirt, khaki pants, and sipping wine.
There's nothing wrong with that! But amazing how we much always pay a "finder's fee" to the opposite sex, that we must learn something new or change something in order to be worth of another person's affections.
Or in my case, a girl I had been in very deep "like" with told me I was crazy for wanting to be a songwriter and musician. "You mean, like a Jason Mraz, musician?" "Yes." "But he's like, good. He's like good. No offense, but he's like GOOD." Sheesh.
So the first verse of "Song of Myself" is a product of those experiences. It's waking up alone for as long as you can remember, and thinking if you could just be skinnier, slightly taller, or have a better option for a career, you might be desired by someone.
Potential Verse 1:
"I meet women everyday
I meet women every way
And they always seem to duck out of my life
They want to change who I want to be,
They want to change my height, my age, my weight,
My personality
That's like their finder's fee"
The chorus has had a several incarnations, and has much more to do with my time spent both in Long Island for a summer and in Manchester, England. When I was on Long Island, I was living with one of my best friends and taking the train in on weekends to record some music on Staten Island.
On the way in, I kept trying to write something for the chorus. It was pouring outside, and so I used that as inspiration:
Potential Chorus:
"But it's raining
And right about now, another drop reminds me that
I'm here again
What I'm saying
Is I'm handing out my heart to you for free
Don't hold it above me"
It wasn't super catchy, but it was a start. I remember playing it for my good friend Kate, and she wasn't thrilled with it. So I let the song simmer a bit longer.
So we fast forward by a few short months, and I hop on a plane to England to study abroad in Manchester. It was only my second time on an aircraft, and it ended up being one of the best times of my life. I tried on a daily basis to harness my creativity, to write something epic and hard-hitting. I wanted so badly to do my best work as a musician in England, because it was such an amazing place. But there was no real inspirado - no English girl I was chasing, no real drama, just good friends and a good life. It wasn't enough to compel me.
In particular, I worked on this song. I wanted to make a statement about myself for once, and what I had to offer the world. But upon thinking about it, what did I really have to offer? In many ways, I tried to copy the styles of musicians I revered with my writing, and it was never as good. Not even close. I was not trying to become a good singer, and simply went through the motions when I performed.
In fact, the only thing that was even halfway "out of the ordinary" that happened to me there was the day before I left to return to America. One of the beautiful blonde barmaids at the Thirsty Scholar, the pub I would play open mic at every week, had become an acquaintance of mine. Aquaintance in the sense that I would see her there, speak for some time while she fetched me drinks, and this would recur every week for like 15 weeks. On my last day though, when I told her I was leaving, she called me over to the side of the bar, met me there, and gave me the biggest wet kiss on the lips I'd ever gotten, to this day. It was completely unexpected! It made my insides jump. She told me to never, ever stop singing. No matter what. God bless the British!
Potential Verse:
"It's to feeling so free, so content, and so high
When the British barmaid kisses you goodbye
And the lights down Oxford Road seem to melt
This must be a Song of Myself."
See, as a writer though, that is FAR too specific, and unless you know the entire back story, it would not really move you. Not to mention, as a writer, you must make your words be able to cross the gap between people, and make what I say shed light on something you experience. That is what makes things memorable, and makes for the best songs.
So, I scrapped that. I was not in the right head space. The song would need to simmer.
I return home from England, and return to normal college life. I had a new girlfriend, new roommates, and even more change. I decided to really "go" with the Song of Myself imagery, and call out Walt Whitman by name. I have always enjoyed his work, and remember reading his poems in high school English. Basically, I wanted to know how he did it. How did you write your Song?
New Chorus:
"Mr. Whitman, please, could you give me some advice
'Cause I'm not really sure if I'm doing it right
There aren't any women here to write about left
So this must be a Song of Myself"
I HATED the third line, the "There aren't any women here to write about left" part. It wasn't necessarily true, and was just a place filler until I came up with a better line. The third line in this chorus, by any conventional poetic form, is the most hard-hitting; all I could say right now was that there's no more "chicks" to write about. Blech.
Fast forward another year, and I am living in New York City. New loves, new experiences, new people, and a totally fresh perspective. It is here I learned lessons that I carry with me everyday. Through my close friends, I learned how valuable family is for one's health, how important it is to take a step back, and from a select few, what loving truly means, both romantically and to a friend. Therefore, my success or lack of success is not as paramount, if I have people around me that I cherish, love, and respect. And if I live well, if I am a good man, that, too, is a victory.
I attended a songwriting mini-retreat that my manager set up with two friends of mine, Tina Mathieu and Zach Hurd. In their own individual rights, they are brilliantly talented, and both very, very unique. Ginger, our manager, thought we might be able to pen a song together to promote to a pop artist to cut on their record. It was a lofty and unlikely goal, but it did focus and motivate us.
I mentioned my song, and how I've been stuck on it for some time now, and both Zach and Tina decided we should try and finish it. We spent hours singing what we could, getting stuck a few times, and eventually helped to form about 90% of the song as it exists today. We shifted the focus in the second verse to women, and how they sometimes live for other people by the way they dress and act. They fail, just as much as men do, to recognize when a man does not value their intellect or personality, in addition to how they look.
Second Verse:
"I see women everyday
I see women every way
Thinking a shorter skirt's gonna make that man go crazy
But does he listen to you talk?
I mean really listen to you talk
Then you could see
If the problem really lies with you and me"
So the problem came with the lack of a bridge. The song simply needed something to break it up for a bit, and take us on home to the outro, something I'll get to in a moment.
I thought long and hard on how to do this, and then took it back to Walt Whitman. I decided I would quote him briefly, and use it as a vehicle to the outro, which is the part I know people will have stuck in their heads.
Bridge:
"Two roads are diverging
And who knows which way to go?
My past, and present are merging
And I hear my mother's voice
I hear my mother's words
I hear my mother's voice
Say quietly, when I heard:"
Few things: first, Walt Whitman NEVER WROTE "Two roads diverged in a wood, I took the one less travelled." Robert Frost did! In my attempt to be clever, I grabbed a quote that has great meaning in this song, but with the wrong guy. My friend Ann pointed that out to me, and all I could do was laugh at my hubris. I like to think I know everything, and how funny it is to be humorously humbled. Still makes me laugh!
Second, my Mother is a tremendous woman and presence in my life. She really is. And if you've ever met her, you sense it, too, for yourself. Like my entire family, she is ironclad in her support of my musical pursuits. They are often the hardest pushers for me, especially in times I want to play it safe. So I wanted to pay homage to her somehow, in song. So I attributed the quote in the outro to her, even though she has never actually said those words to me. But her raising of me as a kid, and her support, speaks to it.
Outro:
"Be content in who you are
Be content in that you might not necessarily go far
But you'll try anyway"
And what does that mean? Well, it means that you can reach as high as you can, go as far as you can go, and success is not always defined by reaching the goal. It is defined by the man or woman you are; it is defined by the kind of life you live. Humility and sincerity are important traits every man or woman must possess, and to live good is to live well. And who knows? You might not make your dream. But you chase it as hard as you can. And you stare every obstacle in the face and decide to go through it, not around it, because you have the love of those around you that will always protect you.
So, in many ways, this song has been with me like height markings on the wall. You start with me being a teenager, and end with me being a man. And I hope you are moved by it. It is the most honest grouping of words I've ever been able to put together.
Here's the lyrics to "Song of Myself:"
"I meet women every day
I meet women every way
And they always seem to duck out of my life
They want to change who I want to be
They want to change my height, my age, my weight,
My personality
That's like their finder's fee
So don't hold it above me
Push and shove me
Say you love me
Where did all of this go?
Mr. Whitman, please, could you give me some advice
'Cause I'm not really sure if I'm doing it right
My inspiration is the only thing that's left
So this must be a Song of Myself
I see women everyday
I see women every way
Thinking a shorter skirt's gonna make that man go crazy
But does he listen to you talk?
I mean really listen to you talk
Then you could see
If the problem really lies with you and me
So don't hold it above me
Push and shove me
Say you love me
Where did chivalry go?
Mr. Whitman, please, could you give me some advice
'Cause I'm not really sure if I'm doing it right
My inspiration is the only thing that's left
So this must be a Song of Myself
Two roads are diverging
And who knows which way to go?
My past, and present are merging
And I hear my mother's voice
I hear my mother's words
I hear my mother's voice
Say quietly, when I heard:
Be content in who you are
Be content in that you might not necessarily go far
But you'll try anyway" (repeat)
Sorry for the long post, but there's a lot of personal history with this one. It's going to be a beautifully energetic gospel-based tune, and I cannot wait to get in the studio and groove on it.
Thanks for taking the time to read! Please visit www.johnschmittalbum.com if you wish to contribute to making this whole project happen! Your help is so greatly appreciated!
-John
www.myspace.com/johnschmitt
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