Tugboat

So, I'm kinda chugging along today. Maria and I got dinner last night, followed by some wonderful desserts in one of downtown Brooklyn's finest eateries, Junior's. Yummmy.

I went to bed super early, like 9:30, and I woke up so refreshed today. I think I'm starting to find a sleep rhythm for once. Been following the Zen Guitar book I was given, and it's shed light on many things in my life. Self-deprivation gets us nowhere, and will only feed us to follow a different path than The Way. We must take all things in moderation, accepting their risks, enjoying their benefits, and possess the wisdom to put them down, walk away from them, or turn them off.

Tonight is going to be boring, but wonderful. Pay day has arrived, that means another two days of me saying "don't blow it all this weekend! SAVE SAVE SAVE!" and then Monday comes and I think "what the fuck was I thinking? Did you need all that shit?" lol I make myself laugh. It's like a married couple makes up the duality of my psyche. They truly love each other, but man can they fight. When they're unified and pissed off, look out. I think that's why my temper is so intense, my potential to scorn so drastic. They're never afraid to talk to each other though, and I think that's the beauty of wisdom. Constant colaboration with the soul. Forever adjusting, observing, discussing, thinking, feeling, and finally doing.

Tomorrow I'll be seeing some bands, and then having people over the house to party. I've missed people over our place. It has become such a place of comfort, a caccoon out in the middle of South Brooklyn, a beautiful, thriving, peaceful, spacious home. "The Big Brrrrr" doesn't hurt, either (my room with chilling AC). Saturday is yet another show at Wicked Willy's, with Maia Davies playing from 7-8pm, followed by a set of original music by me from 8-9pm, and then our standard set of fun music from 9-12. I love that I sing so much now, that I play guitar so much now. That it's forced in my hands out of necessity and love blended together. It keeps me honest, it keeps me grounded and forever feeling like a student.

If you're reading this, I miss you. I've not seen so many people in so long, and you all mean so much to me. Meghan told me I make people feel like they're the most important person in the world when I talk to them, but to me, they are. I live in the moment, a nanosecond behind the present on the space/time continuum. The words and feelings and sensations that accompany those I love are things I try to snatch up and cherish, and forever will be that way. It makes me so observant and aware. It makes me feel real things and emotions. The prospect of seeing Eric, Maria, and Jessica next weekend makes me jump. Not to mention my family.

Don't ever be satisfied. Ever. Don't let yourself do that. And don't ever think that you are not worthy of whatever it is you want. It will be drawn towards you once you take ownership of it. And please continue to laugh, it's what gets us by. It's what makes me crave tomorrows.