Thinking back on the episode today brings me to tears. I was just so moved. And today I was having a hard time putting words to it, but...
We all want to believe. To a man, we want to believe that those around us do not ever die in vein, and that sacrifices will be worth it. We want to believe that a good life will shape us into a happy afterlife. And for me, to see Jack walk his final minutes on this Earth, destiny fulfilled, knowing the people he loved were safe, and knowing that a reunion awaited him someday - well, it made me believe, and it made my heart leap. That's what faith does! It makes you wrap your arms around your brother, hold them tight, and cherish them! It makes you weep out of happiness and longing, out of contrition and remorse; it makes us feel. Science makes us think, but faith makes us feel. "Lost" was about feeling. The final episode showed how important our time is with those around us.
But....WOW. My favorite moment (which is now 3 favorite moments, now that I think of it:)
1.) When Jack defends the real John Locke and says the MiB disgraces his memory by wearing his face. That to me spoke volumes, especially after the first three seasons of Jack and Locke bickering back and forth about the button. And Jack was right - John Locke to me was a man at the pinnacle of enlightenment. A man who believed so fervently. His loss feels real to me on some level, and always has.
2.) When Jack lay in the yellow pool, having returned the light to island, and the water started flowing. To me, that was everyone's soul. To lose that would be to lose the chance to ascend to an afterlife. Our spirit would be bound to earth, and we could not return to the bright light that we all go to. I can only hope to share that joy he must have felt. Or perhaps, relief. The way Jesus would have felt right before he gave himself up..."it is finished." To me, Jack's ultimate reward was never going to be Jacob's powers or his seeming omnipotence. It would be to escape the mortal coil, to be reunited with the Source that he swore to defend.
3.) OF COURSE, the final scene with Christian and Jack. How moving! Jack was like a 5 year-old asking his father about why rain falls, why the sun rises, or why his dog had to die. And his father, who I always knew was way, way more loving than given credit for, did what he knew best - he spoke to his son, and then let him figure it out for himself. He then wrapped his arms around him, and said he loved him. There was a gush in my room when that happened. How fortunate for them both to be together again! Don't we all want that? That's what hit home when I watched it...."Yes! Yessss! I want to believe so badly that this is how it is! That I will be with them again!" And then to walk into the church, see everyone, and know that the death, the carnage, the pain, the struggle, the fighting, the passion, it all was beyond meaningful...it was life. It defined them all, and united them all. By living together, no one died alone.
Seeing each character "awaken" was very, very emotional to watch. For those moments, those nanoseconds where suddenly eternity entered in, they had a lifelong retrospective and a reminder of what they had lived. They all went through a journey of first disbelief, then longing for what they had in their earthly life, and then a realization that the reunion was upon them. Specifically, my favorite moment was Juliet and Sawyer. Sawyer loved her so deeply, so tragically ("Don't you let go, Blondie!"), and so truly, and to see them face-to-face, unable to even think or react to each other on account of the joy and relief they were experiencing, was just remarkable...to stand and see the person you so fervently missed and loved more than any other, and to behold them once more! I keep saying it, but there's a part of our human experience that stirs when we see that play out! We want SO BADLY to believe.
Jack's final moments on the island were such a special thing to behold: how a body dies, how a mind rejoices at the same time, and a soul readies itself to move on. It was a beautiful, beautiful death. The way his body lay down, so as to yield focus to the mind, which could take in absolutely everything at its final stage, and then deliver to the soul forever - ahhh, I'm all choked up at work! And I kept saying to Jack, 'you were right, and you did what you needed to do. You are redeemed, my friend.'
Jack in the sideways timeline, to me, represented to me so vividly something I have and will continue to struggle with: the willingness to let go, and to trust something other that what is visible and measurable. He seemed almost sad when he first had the awakening, while standing there with Locke. He was scared...of what, I am not sure. But when he touched that coffin, and then saw it was empty, his transformation to pure spirit was complete.
I could go on, and on, and on. But the crux of what I'm getting at is this: "Lost" made me feel, and no other drama EVER has made me feel that hard, that intense, and that pure. It reminded me of my time with my grandfather, how badly I missed him, and of the time with my Mother and Father, and how I can't wait to see them in a few weeks. It reminded me that there are absolutely wonderful, brilliant people who shine just as bright as that white light who are in my life right now. We do it all for each other, and we are living out our very own "island" experiences in a more subtle way. Because, as I have discussed in the past, we don't "takeaway" our possessions, looks, or money. Instead, we takeaway the lessons, the laughs, the struggles that have caused us to ascend into both wisdom and whatever awaits us on the other side of death.
I could only hope to be as satisfied and fulfilled as Jack Shepard, and to experience the incredible, overwhelming sense of relief to realize that the reunion was real, and was eternal.