February 4, 2013

Constantly Constant

I feel weird
And Buffalo is no longer
A place of solidarity
I miss you
Each one of you
And especially You

I tiptoe around
Opportunities to grow up
And maybe I should call more often
But it might be a signal fire
I selectively choose
To take interest, or fight

This is the most uncertain time of my life
And I need to know that you're Constant
That you're constantly Constant

My band of friends travel with me
And I stand after the show
And hoarse
And take compliments from strangers
And good friends
And I begin to eye the room
And right there -
Right there
My insides crumble
My lungs deflate
Because I can't shake it
or You.

I would discard this bit of me
If I hadn't come to love it so much
Am I selfish for that?
Is it too cheesy to admit
That I would sing for only one person
If you let me?

Crippling debt
Oppressive heat
Unwavering anxiety
And the belief that I'm much better off now
Are my Constantly Constants.

Goodnight, and I am thankful
But, oh, if you knew the depths
The deep depths that still feel warm
If you truly knew the depths
Of what I am capable of
And what I seek in my life
And how I cherish it
You would know how loaded,
How piled on, taped,
Stapled, glued
How concentrated
My words are
When I say
So simply
And as best I can

No comments:

Post a Comment