For Once in my life

"For once in my life
I won't let sorrow hurt me
Not like it hurt me before
For once, I have something I know won't desert me
I'm not alone anymore
For once, I can say, this is mine, you can't take it
As long as I know I have love, I can make it
For once in my life, I have someone who needs me"

...and the sun comes out to Stevie Wonder. I suppose I'd want to come out to the world in something similar.

My beloved Buffalo Sabres are a game away from advancing to the next round. I will miss the game on Friday, as I will be playing in New Jersey, but I believe. They have been such a source of comfort and hope to me.

I am very happy. I am finding joy in my home, in my work, in my music, and in my spirit. Vin has become a wonderful friend, and makes even the most mundane evenings hilarious and interesting. I love asking him to pick a movie for me to see, to school me on something new. He always picks a good one.

Then there's my favorite pseudo raw-food eater/future wine seller (who hopefully finds that description funny), who has brought me calmness, clarity, and a closeness I have longed for for so long. Thank you.

I feel the need to explicitly be thankful for what I have, to shake a cloud of negativity that crowded around my life last night. I could not sleep, no prayer, discussion, or thought could shake it. I feel like at times I am everything to everyone, and I am turned to in times of turmoil. It's such a difficult position, and I am learning where I need to set my boundaries.

So this song I'm writing is coming along. I mention it because it is just going to be wonderful, I know it and believe it. Even more than that, I can feel it, and for those of you who may not understand what or how writing music is, it is felt, not created. Everything I write comes from my life, or some derivative of it. I believe being as specific as possible in my craft is the only way to convey a sense of reality and clarity to those I try to impress on. Music very much is this active beast that I must take every few weeks to speak to me about my own life. Music is a rabid muse that you have to catch and then let it run its course with you. I am only a machine with a filter on the end that Music uses to make its next batch of offspring. Almost like a pasta maker or meat grinder. I actively listen, but passively create, if that makes sense. So this song, I think, is one heaping pile of spaghetti, and I can't wait for you to taste.

Two shows this weekend, some house moving, and maybe a musical on Sunday afternoon, possibly Jazz club too. Until next time.

John
p.s. I think I'd want to come out to "Oh What a World" by Rufus Wainwright, if I were the sun.