November 2, 2008

Temporary One

Where are you darlin', when my
Moon is risin', and your
Sun is shinin' down

What are you doin', are you
Missin' me
The way that I'm missin' you now

The river goes on and on, and the
Sea that divides us is a
Temporary one, and the
Bridge will bring us back together

What are you doin', goin'
Down in to Soho as I
Get my rest tonight

What are you doin', are you
Busy with your world
Well I wish you were busy with mine

The river goes on and on, and the
Sea that divides us is a
Temporary one, and the
Bridge will bring us back together



All things must pass, I guess. I just can't shake the idea of standing in the street telling her "see? I'd get hit by cab if you don't kiss me again!" For the sake of my sanity, knowing how many friends, family, and co-workers either are reading this or might be reading this, I won't delve too far into the gory details.

I just, just, just can't shake it. I get it though. I'm a fool - correction - you're a fool, John. I feel the need to scold myself. And I guess in the grand scheme of things, it won't mean too much. But man, when you smell it, feel it, taste it, hear it, and it blows you away, maybe there is much to be made out of one night.

I retreat though. Back into my music. I even thought about my faith today, about how blessed I was to have my talents and my love of music, despite the Bills and Sabres losing, and all the other stuff. I miss that closeness, the way I could feel God between my shirt and my skin, the way my faith informed my mind, and shed a wisdom on my life and others.

So what happens when the person others seek out for advice has his own saga? That's always my dilemma. I don't have that person to go to with the answers; for most of my friends, for my family, that's me. You sift through the bullshit, and get the person on the right track, and show them that they did this or that badly or not enough.

But man, I havent felt this sort of shook-ness since over a year ago, with Meg. And really, my reaction is to downplay all this, so that people reading it will not think I'm crazy or desperate, but let me be clear:

I am very much fine and okay being alone and single and a musician and songwriter, who has more and more grey hair, doesn't ever sleep in on weekends, keeps a messy bedroom, and chases the highest point of the highest mountain. I am content with seeking a dream at all cost, working hard, and loving my friends as family, and my family that much more. I am secure in my ability to judge character, to make people laugh, and to tell stories.

But I do not define myself by a woman, and I will never do so. I will never get duped again.

This shit stings. And I'll never dupe someone, either.
Goodnight. I feel better.

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