April 15, 2010


Oh man, do yourself a favor and watch playoff hockey. The Flyers dismantled the Devils last night, much to the chagrin of the hometown Jersey crowd. The announcers from MSG NJ, Doc Emerick and Chico Resch, are arguably the BIGGEST HOMERS (Doh!) I’ve ever seen in all of pro sports. They speak of the players on NJ by their first name, and not even by their full name (ie, Martin Brodeur, when he makes a save, is referred to as “Marty” in the heat of the play-by-play – douche chills, anyone??). The color guy, "Chico", speaks as if he never learned his indoor voice, and always sounds like the guy at the party who keeps talking loudly when the music suddenly reduces volume. And he has a thick, thick Canadian accent, so he might as well have stuffed gauze up his sinuses.

The most enraging part is every time a NJ Devil is cited for a minor penalty, they replay the video in slow motion, and the color guy will say something to the effect of “OH, I DOAN KNOW BOUD DAT ONE! GIVE DA REF A-LOOK AT DAT TEN TIMES, I DINK HE’S NOT CALLIN IT EIGHT OUTTA DA TEN! BOY, DAT’S A ROUGH ONE DA TAKE!”

And then they will go on diatribes when the penalty is called against the NJ opponent, how clearly that is the right call, how “DOZE KINDA PLAYS WIT YER STICK ARE NOT APARTA DA NEW NHL, AND PLAYERS GODDA KNOW DAT!”

Well, guess what? Last night, the ever-revered and cherished goalie, Martin “Marty” Brodeur, gave up more goals than his counterpart, rookie Brian Boucher (insert “Waterboy” jokes here). And Philly won in a game that looks a lot closer on paper than it really was. It was so fun to watch all those Aqua-Velvet wearing, IROC-Z driving, wife-beater-under-hockey-jersey sporting Jersey trash raise their hands in disgust moment after moment in the third period, and go home so sad and dejected. A huge win for the Flyers, and a joyful occasion for me, to see the entire institution that is NJ Devils Hockey, Broadcasting, and Fanaticism have their hopes, aspirations, and overweening pride dashed.  By a rookie-led Philly team, no less.


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