My Eyes Burn.

I lay in a cooled cave
2 inches of Pine separating heavenly bliss
And hellish heat
My brown Oasis
Adorned with WWII memorabilia
Family photos (me in pink!)
Lovely books on wine
Egg-crated mattress
And enough pillows to get lost in
The stale, torrid air outside
unsuccessfully tries to suck out the Sweetness
From the cracks
to no avail

Rilke:
She who did not come, wasn't she determined
nonetheless to organize and decorate my heart?
If we had to exist to become the one we love,
what would the heart have to create?

Lovely joy left blank, perhaps you are
the center of all my labors and my loves.
If I've wept for you so much, it's because
I preferred you among so many outlined joys.
_____________________________________________________
I don't like feeling ignored
Brushed aside
A former-priority
And I won't have this thrown back in my face
For I know what I'd rather be doing every minute
And it hadn't changed one bit, no matter where I stood

"wasn't she determined
nonetheless to organize and decorate my heart?"
Someone, please, hang a curtain or two in there
Or at least a Seurat painting

I don't sleep anymore. I love the sunlight too much
That all I do is wait up all night to say good morning.