"providence" /prov-i-dens/ Pronunciation Key - [prov-i-duhns]
–noun
1. (often initial capital letter) the foreseeing care and guidance of God or nature over the creatures of the earth.
It's been months leading up to tomorrow. I feel like I've been going from episode to episode, slowly but surely blowing through the material, with my sights always on tomorrow as a great moment. I waited the way I wait the week before my birthday, where I feel like I stare at a calender all week, hoping I develop radioactive vision that makes the days turn faster.
I'm on my way to Providence. Capital P. Off to the Brooklyn Coffee and Tea House. How appropriate. An otherwise nonchalant out-of-town "roadie" as I call them, really is meaning a great deal to me. I've got one hour to impress, 8 to 9, the "featured songwriter" for the night, playing for tips. It's like SPoT Coffee or Caz Coffee back in Buffalo all over again. Perfect strangers, with a critical ear ready to take sound in, are there only to be impressed, while John the troubador must step up his game and deliver...nothing other than himself.
My own songs. My first show in months where I am compelled and expected to play my own music. To turn my life into song again. To hand it out to people, like walking around a room full of people with empty bowls, holding a cauldron full of "Me" soup. The soup needs a little salt though.
A new city, a place that always seemed somewhat mysterious to me. I've yet to venture north of Connecticut, and I long to see the Colonial architecture, nature, and coastline that so much of that region is built around. What goes on in Rhode Island? It is a novelty that always peaked my imagination. The countless Farrelly brother movies set there also made me want to see it. And the name, Providence, guided by God, guided by wisdom. Me too.
So I'm going to Providence to gain providence. I'm going to Providence because I've spent the last few months playing music written by other people, running around trying to capture my inner-motown. Now, I re-center. Re-focus. Re-energize. Re-Me.
I go on a pilgrimage to a city that will soon be known to me for my own music. I go to get away from frustrating people and situations, from unrequited love. I go to touch lives by my own, to be touched by stories.
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Happy birthday, Elicia
My ever-battle-ready sister
We're the same age now for 2 months
But we know who was born first
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