Lots of things. Things for Hope.

I look out and see the vastness, and realize that my head is clouded.
I realize that I am small.
I realize that my quests are also for others.

I'm officially on week 2, and going stronger than I was even in week 1.  I haven't had tremendously bad moments, and I think the low-light of the week-long diet change was eating pizza while being drunk upstate with some friends.  I knew the next day that it was not a good choice, and I also let it go.
That's the hardest part in all of this - letting go of past transgressions.  Seeing the Past not as a Ghost that is solely supposed to torment the Present Self, but instead seeing it for what it truly is - an opportunity to close those missteps up, pack them away forever, and to step forward, into my Future Self. 

The Past is not something designed to be weighed across from one's dreams, or aspirations, or the Future.  And we should never let our insecure, selfish unconscious self (the "little 2 year old boy") pit our Past against our Present Self.  Your past decisions do NOT invalidate any desire for change in your Present Self!

Case in point: Just because I ate extremely poorly for 27 years of my life, not caring how I looked or felt, and instead fed the "little boy" inside me, does not mean that any pursuit for a better quality of life, a more balanced life, or moderation is not worthwhile! 

My mind wants to stack up the double cheeseburgers, philly cheesesteak subs, NYC pizza, chicken wings, Dominos Pizza, Arby's Beef and Cheddars, Nathan's Corndogs, Peter Luger Porterhouse Steaks, etc. for the 9,874 days I have been on this planet, and pit them against the 8 days I've eaten mostly lean chicken breast, bananas, turkey, pistachios, rice, etc.  My mind wants me to think that just in terms of sheer VOLUME, my pursuit is futile, and useless.  "There's too many tasty foods on the other side, right?  You're going to cave, John.  You're just going to."

NO.  AND I RESOLVE TO REJECT THE WAY I USED TO LIVE. 

FOOD IS NOT SOMETHING THAT DEFINES MY DAY, IT IS A TOOL I USE TO GET THINGS DONE; LIKE A PAIR OF SNEAKERS, OR A PEN.  IT MERELY KEEPS ME ALIVE AND WELL, AND IS NOT TO ENTERTAIN ME OR CAPTIVATE ME.

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My visit to the Nutritionist enlightened me greatly, and the woman was very receptive, supportive, and also very direct.  We went through my recent food journal, and highlighted the chances to improve.  We also went through my former eating habits, to show just how drastic the change had been.

Some highlights:

• For most of the 27 years on this planet, I was eating anywhere between 4,000-5,000 calories a day, high in fat, high in carbohydrates, high in sodium, and low in fiber. 
• I am now eating 1,500-2,000 calories a day, and must look for opportunities to add fiber through fresh vegetables and other means, while maintaining the calorie count. 
• *The word LITE on food products means it has under 2.5 grams of fat in the product per serving.
• *The words REDUCED FAT mean that it has from 9.5 grams to 2.6 grams of fat in the product per service. 
• Each gram of fat you consume is worth 9 calories. 
• Each gram of carbohydrate you consule is worth 4 calories. 
• Each gram of protein you consume is worth 4 calories. 
• THEREFORE, I want a balanced diet of those three groups, where 30% of my calories come from fat, 50% comes from carbohydrates, and 20% come from protein.  I still want 2,000 calories, but in this specific way.
• Feeling full means you have overeaten, that you have clogged up your digestive system. 
• It takes 20 minutes for your stomach to tell your brain when it is satieated, or satisfied.  Therefore, eat 1/2 of your lunch, then take a break and do something else until 20 minutes has passed.  At the 20 minute mark, if you are still hungry, have some more of your lunch.  You will be surprised at how little food you need to satisfy your hunger.
• Snack on fresh vegetables, nuts (such as pistachios), and fruits, and avoid, at all reasonable cost, food with added sugar.  You should only introduce 25 grams of added sugar into your diet.
• Most importantly, take this all in stride, a day at a time.  You will have great days, and you will have bad days.  But if you mess up, or make a poor choice, immediately move on, and choose health.

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I've noticed my purple shirt is slightly less tight than it used to be. It is a small thing, but I noticed it was blousing out a bit more on the subway this morning.  For today, that's more than enough for me.  I am not concerned with the weight number, or the way clothing fits.  I am focused on making good decisions, and those things will fall in line naturally.  Today, I will continue to have a good day with my diet decisions.

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I am using the website http://www.fatsecret.com/ to do my online food journal.  They have an app for my Blackberry that syncs up to the website, and maintains the information.  It has been tremendously useful, and enabled me to search foods, compare nutrients, and keep track of what I'm putting in my system.

This site will tell you how many calories you burn per day just by normal daily activity, based on age, weight, height, and level of activity.  http://walking.about.com/cs/calories/l/blcalcalc.htm

It's simple math: eat 3,500 calories less than you burn in a week, and you lose a pound.  Plain and simple.