A new song I'm writing, seemingly about nothing:
"Caroline the Queen"
I woke up spilling out
Into a chilly day, without much sense
I take all of my best-laid plans
And still feel like a mouse inside a man
I come through
The longest line to see you
Caroline
I hang on every word you say
Caroline
You are the Queen of my Cafe
You are the Dream inside my Day
You've got a certain way
Of transforming the words that leave your lips
Into full-blown liquid gold
That Strangers take with them in sips
I can't make due
With the other girls who replace you
Caroline
I hang on every word you say
Caroline
You are the Queen of my Cafe
You are the Dream inside my Day
Cuz lately mornings take hours
and Days take weeks
But it calms my head just to hear you speak
My drink order to me
(Solo)
Caroline
I hang on every word you say
Caroline
You are the Queen of my Cafe
You are the Dream inside my Day
And when I wake
It's you I see
And I will take
A piece of you with me
December 11, 2009
December 7, 2009
Completely Moved
"John,
Thanks so much for getting back to me. I have been talking with my student about contacting you and apparently my school email was putting your messages in a spam folder. Regardless, glad we are in contact now.
I use the song ["Ophelia"] every year when we act out Hamlet in class. I play the song at the beginning of the unit and the kids usually say something like, "That's a pretty song," and don't quite get the meaning behind it. Then, after the play, I play the song again and they give a collective, "OHHHH" and appreciate the song so much more. We then talk about everyone's hermeneutic and explain that our perceptions of things are determined by the lens through which we view the universe. Specifically with reference to your song, we say that one reason "smart English people" are "smart" is that they know Shakespeare and the universality of the author facilitates their connections to so many other texts.
After doing this lesson for two years and having about 200 students listen to the song, I can say confidently that about 95% of 16 year olds in Michigan love the song. The other 5% probably won't like anything that a teacher gives them. :) I will be sure to share the motivation of your junior HS English class with classes in the future.
After doing this lesson for two years and having about 200 students listen to the song, I can say confidently that about 95% of 16 year olds in Michigan love the song. The other 5% probably won't like anything that a teacher gives them. :) I will be sure to share the motivation of your junior HS English class with classes in the future.
I found your music from listening to Acoustic Long Island. I love that podcast. My wife listens to it once in awhile and she does not have a very large appreciation of music of different genres, much unlike her husband. However, when we go on trips, she always says, "Play that one Ophelia song."
Do you ever play in the greater Detroit area? Have any other teachers contacted you about using your music in class?
Thanks again for the contact.
Aric"
December 2, 2009
REPOST: "Tugboat"
I found this post way down near the middle of my blog, and it is as if another person had written it. I was so in touch with myself and my thoughts then, it's amazing to read it new and re-apply.
Tonight is going to be boring, but wonderful. Pay day has arrived, that means another two days of me saying "don't blow it all this weekend! SAVE SAVE SAVE!" and then Monday comes and I think "what the fuck was I thinking? Did you need all that shit?" lol I make myself laugh. It's like a married couple makes up the duality of my psyche. They truly love each other, but man can they fight. When they're unified and pissed off, look out. I think that's why my temper is so intense, my potential to scorn so drastic. They're never afraid to talk to each other though, and I think that's the beauty of wisdom. Constant colaboration with the soul. Forever adjusting, observing, discussing, thinking, feeling, and finally doing.
Tomorrow I'll be seeing some bands, and then having people over the house to party. I've missed people over our place. It has become such a place of comfort, a caccoon out in the middle of South Brooklyn, a beautiful, thriving, peaceful, spacious home. "The Big Brrrrr" doesn't hurt, either (my room with chilling AC). Saturday is yet another show at Wicked Willy's, with Maia Davies playing from 7-8pm, followed by a set of original music by me from 8-9pm, and then our standard set of fun music from 9-12. I love that I sing so much now, that I play guitar so much now. That it's forced in my hands out of necessity and love blended together. It keeps me honest, it keeps me grounded and forever feeling like a student.
If you're reading this, I miss you. I've not seen so many people in so long, and you all mean so much to me. Meghan told me I make people feel like they're the most important person in the world when I talk to them, but to me, they are. I live in the moment, a nanosecond behind the present on the space/time continuum. The words and feelings and sensations that accompany those I love are things I try to snatch up and cherish, and forever will be that way. It makes me so observant and aware. It makes me feel real things and emotions. The prospect of seeing Eric, Maria, and Jessica next weekend makes me jump. Not to mention my family.
Don't ever be satisfied. Ever. Don't let yourself do that. And don't ever think that you are not worthy of whatever it is you want. It will be drawn towards you once you take ownership of it. And please continue to laugh, it's what gets us by. It's what makes me crave tomorrows."
"So, I'm kinda chugging along today. I went to bed super early, like 9:30, and I woke up so refreshed today. I think I'm starting to find a sleep rhythm for once. Been following the Zen Guitar book I was given, and it's shed light on many things in my life. Self-deprivation gets us nowhere, and will only feed us to follow a different path than The Way. We must take all things in moderation, accepting their risks, enjoying their benefits, and possess the wisdom to put them down, walk away from them, or turn them off.
Tonight is going to be boring, but wonderful. Pay day has arrived, that means another two days of me saying "don't blow it all this weekend! SAVE SAVE SAVE!" and then Monday comes and I think "what the fuck was I thinking? Did you need all that shit?" lol I make myself laugh. It's like a married couple makes up the duality of my psyche. They truly love each other, but man can they fight. When they're unified and pissed off, look out. I think that's why my temper is so intense, my potential to scorn so drastic. They're never afraid to talk to each other though, and I think that's the beauty of wisdom. Constant colaboration with the soul. Forever adjusting, observing, discussing, thinking, feeling, and finally doing.
Tomorrow I'll be seeing some bands, and then having people over the house to party. I've missed people over our place. It has become such a place of comfort, a caccoon out in the middle of South Brooklyn, a beautiful, thriving, peaceful, spacious home. "The Big Brrrrr" doesn't hurt, either (my room with chilling AC). Saturday is yet another show at Wicked Willy's, with Maia Davies playing from 7-8pm, followed by a set of original music by me from 8-9pm, and then our standard set of fun music from 9-12. I love that I sing so much now, that I play guitar so much now. That it's forced in my hands out of necessity and love blended together. It keeps me honest, it keeps me grounded and forever feeling like a student.
If you're reading this, I miss you. I've not seen so many people in so long, and you all mean so much to me. Meghan told me I make people feel like they're the most important person in the world when I talk to them, but to me, they are. I live in the moment, a nanosecond behind the present on the space/time continuum. The words and feelings and sensations that accompany those I love are things I try to snatch up and cherish, and forever will be that way. It makes me so observant and aware. It makes me feel real things and emotions. The prospect of seeing Eric, Maria, and Jessica next weekend makes me jump. Not to mention my family.
Don't ever be satisfied. Ever. Don't let yourself do that. And don't ever think that you are not worthy of whatever it is you want. It will be drawn towards you once you take ownership of it. And please continue to laugh, it's what gets us by. It's what makes me crave tomorrows."
Mighty Wind
I arose this morning completely amazed at the beauty of friendship.
And in essence, the beauty of it all.
Had my friend watch "Unmistaken Child" last night, the documentary on the search for the reincarnation of a Tibetan Buddhist Master by his closest disciple, and it reminded me that there is so much beauty and incredible things I know nothing about.
So many valleys filled with people, so many people praying for the fate of this world, and so much wind pushing air around. A Mighty Wind, "blowing piece and freedom, blowing equality" as they say.
Constructive problem solving, which to me separates real friends from acquaintances, is such a beautiful thing.
"I have a problem, but I want us to arrive at a better place by working through it."
"Me too."
And so two people discuss their differences in opinions, the things they take issue with, and the entire time, in the back of your mind, is the understanding that this foundation is much, much too deep to cause this to come crashing down. It makes tones calm, words are thought about before being said, and honesty is spoken that might not otherwise be spoken.
At the end, they follow up with some sort of "I'm glad, and you're still important to me, and will be."
And WHOOOOSH, the anxiety vanishes. Like a gust of wind. For good. And besides the onset of exhaustion, I march forward down the street and through my Day into an evening of relaxation, music, and laughter.
I wake up refreshed, and eager to leave my home and come on here and write for whomever reads, and myself.
I wake up and am actually comforted by the realization that I will never see so much of what this world offers, even in my own neighborhood, my city, and my country. I am comforted in knowing that those bits I don't see will thrive like the ones I do see. The System, God, the Essense, runs deeper than my own senses, and runs everywhere.
To be here is to be everywhere. I'm comforted by that.
And in essence, the beauty of it all.
Had my friend watch "Unmistaken Child" last night, the documentary on the search for the reincarnation of a Tibetan Buddhist Master by his closest disciple, and it reminded me that there is so much beauty and incredible things I know nothing about.
So many valleys filled with people, so many people praying for the fate of this world, and so much wind pushing air around. A Mighty Wind, "blowing piece and freedom, blowing equality" as they say.
Constructive problem solving, which to me separates real friends from acquaintances, is such a beautiful thing.
"I have a problem, but I want us to arrive at a better place by working through it."
"Me too."
And so two people discuss their differences in opinions, the things they take issue with, and the entire time, in the back of your mind, is the understanding that this foundation is much, much too deep to cause this to come crashing down. It makes tones calm, words are thought about before being said, and honesty is spoken that might not otherwise be spoken.
At the end, they follow up with some sort of "I'm glad, and you're still important to me, and will be."
And WHOOOOSH, the anxiety vanishes. Like a gust of wind. For good. And besides the onset of exhaustion, I march forward down the street and through my Day into an evening of relaxation, music, and laughter.
I wake up refreshed, and eager to leave my home and come on here and write for whomever reads, and myself.
I wake up and am actually comforted by the realization that I will never see so much of what this world offers, even in my own neighborhood, my city, and my country. I am comforted in knowing that those bits I don't see will thrive like the ones I do see. The System, God, the Essense, runs deeper than my own senses, and runs everywhere.
To be here is to be everywhere. I'm comforted by that.
December 1, 2009
Anxious Nervous Nelly
My bouts with anxiety have been legendary lately.
I missed work on account of one bout.
There are sources of it the anxiety, too; faces and events I can point to for why I'm anxious, which I guess is better than having it just generalized.
When I'm anxious, as I am right now, my knee bops up and down at a furious rate. When I notice it, shift, and go back to typing, the other one starts to bop. I cannot bear to keep the nervous energy inside.
More than anything, being anxious is completely exhausting. Utterly exhausting. The kind where I get all the nervous energy out, and the thought of walking home from the train is just insurmountable. Might as well be 100 flights of stairs.
But before all that, is the onset. It typically involves my heart racing, inability to focus, and inability to sit still. My stomach churns and churns and churns, and I can't stop focusing on what is making me anxious. I want to make it right or discuss it with the relevant party immediately.
I've just yawned. There you go. It's 2:29pm and I'm yawning. I just had a soda, too, so you think I'd be caffeinated. My point is I HATE BEING ANXIOUS.
I also don't know how to act accordingly when I'm this way. I feel any sort-of God-given wisdom is out the window, and I'm literally feeling like "hummin-a-hummin-a-hummin-a" when it comes to facing problems.
But really, what am I afraid of? It's all irrational stuff stemming from wanting to be accepted and successful. About maintaining any and all relationships, and taking care of everyone. It drives me completely nuts.
"I throw my fear around". Wise words, Mr. Mayer.
I missed work on account of one bout.
There are sources of it the anxiety, too; faces and events I can point to for why I'm anxious, which I guess is better than having it just generalized.
When I'm anxious, as I am right now, my knee bops up and down at a furious rate. When I notice it, shift, and go back to typing, the other one starts to bop. I cannot bear to keep the nervous energy inside.
More than anything, being anxious is completely exhausting. Utterly exhausting. The kind where I get all the nervous energy out, and the thought of walking home from the train is just insurmountable. Might as well be 100 flights of stairs.
But before all that, is the onset. It typically involves my heart racing, inability to focus, and inability to sit still. My stomach churns and churns and churns, and I can't stop focusing on what is making me anxious. I want to make it right or discuss it with the relevant party immediately.
I've just yawned. There you go. It's 2:29pm and I'm yawning. I just had a soda, too, so you think I'd be caffeinated. My point is I HATE BEING ANXIOUS.
I also don't know how to act accordingly when I'm this way. I feel any sort-of God-given wisdom is out the window, and I'm literally feeling like "hummin-a-hummin-a-hummin-a" when it comes to facing problems.
But really, what am I afraid of? It's all irrational stuff stemming from wanting to be accepted and successful. About maintaining any and all relationships, and taking care of everyone. It drives me completely nuts.
"I throw my fear around". Wise words, Mr. Mayer.
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